Scatterbrain is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... Then it turns up in a crime scene description.

I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.

Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.