I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.
Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.