There's something profoundly disturbing about watching an old guy eat a sandwich.
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.
When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.
Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?