I once felt bad because I had no shoes, and then I met a man who had no feet. He was wearing an ankle bracelet that kept falling off.
Dana GouldThe hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
Dana GouldI feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.
Dana GouldAs I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.
Dana Gould