Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?

If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

Today I saw a guy who looked like me in a funhouse mirror. He looked at me like, Hey, that's how I look reflected in the pond!

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.