You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.