I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

If Jesus was a baby, there was a point, on that Holiest of nights, in that Holiest of mangers, where he made a big, Holy load.

I was an altar boy in the Roman Catholic Church and no priest ever laid a hand on me. That's me, always the bridesmaid.

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

My first open mic was fantastic. I crushed. And my second mic was as bad as my first one was good.

If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.