Competition is the death of art.

I would think, if you were horny enough, there'd come a time when it was hos before bros.

It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!

I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.