Competition is the death of art.

Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look... great?

There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.

My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.

Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.