I've often been accused of being the comic's comic. It's a bad business model when your fans are the people who get in free.

Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.

If I had a Volkswagon Beetle. I'd paint the front to resemble Glenn Langdon in War Of The Colossal Beast. Why? Two words: The Ladies.

To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.