Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.

Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!

Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!