Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.
The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.