Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

There's something profoundly disturbing about watching an old guy eat a sandwich.

Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.

How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.