A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

I'm so weird with women. I couldn't go up to a gorgeous woman and tell her the building's on fire. 'Don't take this the wrong way, uh. I don't mean to be weird and I'm not trying to be creepy, but the building's on fire.

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.

If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.

There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.

I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.