The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Please don't let all the freak storms and climate change lead you to believe in freak storms and climate change.

I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.

Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.

Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!

I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.