Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.