My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
The circus goes from town to town, so why run away to join it? It should be, I've decided to wait for the circus to come.
Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Competition is the death of art.
No one has ever thought this: Now that I'm out of therapy and have fixed my mental problems, I think I want to be a ventriloquist.
Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.