Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.

Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.

Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.

I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.

Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.