Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
We all enter this world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.
I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.
Is there an award for the best trophy? I bet they hand out a plaque.
This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.