I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.

Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.