Twitter is not a good place for people who feel they're being followed.
If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
Love is like pancreatitis; it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
There's something profoundly disturbing about watching an old guy eat a sandwich.
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.