How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.
Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?
My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!