If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn't work on auto-pilot and it's very difficult to have sex in.

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

I used to fear living a life untouched by God, but now, for some reason I've gone back to being afraid of cement mixers.

As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.

Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.