Please don't let all the freak storms and climate change lead you to believe in freak storms and climate change.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.

As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.

I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.

I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.