What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

I live in Los Angeles. It's a very liberal city, but it's so hypocritical in what it's liberal about. You can be driving down Hollywood Boulevard, see a guy in lipstick and high heels wearing a fur coat masturbating into a mailbox. People giving him a hard time as they drive by: Hey, is that real fur? Of course not! That's sick!

My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.