If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

Having sex with a dead grammar teacher is a violation of past tense usage.

When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.

The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.