There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.

If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.