It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.

Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

No one has ever thought this: Now that I'm out of therapy and have fixed my mental problems, I think I want to be a ventriloquist.

Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.

I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.

What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.