Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.

The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.

I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.