Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.
I just staunchly bought one frame during a two-for-one frame sale and barely left the store alive.
A lot of people have a particular song that, no matter their mood, turns them on. With me, it's Eleanor Rigby.
One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.