Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?

What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.

Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.

A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.