Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.