Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.

Corn is the only food you hold like corn.

When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

We broke up, and my first reaction was 'Fine - I've been through this too many times. I can't change your mind. I can't live your life for you. You're gone in your direction. I'm going to pick up; I'm going to go in my direction. I'm not going to live in the past. I'm not going to embrace the pain. You go, I'll go, and that will be it.' And I felt that way for an hour and 10 minutes.