I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
The average permanent lasts about four months.
It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.
I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.