Being funny is not the same as being happy.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.

My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.

It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.