Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

There's something profoundly disturbing about watching an old guy eat a sandwich.

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.