I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.

The Republican Party is the party of Eddie Haskell and the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.