I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.

My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.

Being funny is not the same as being happy.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.