A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana GouldI bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.
Dana GouldWomen are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
Dana GouldAs I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned my head. That's all I want to see.
Dana Gould