Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.

Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.

I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.

Usually the people that peak in high school are tragic, tragic adults. Most of them end up working for the water department in their hometown and driving around said high school as the decades slip past.

Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.