If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.

If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.

When I was in high school, girls made fun of me for liking vampire movies. Now, I'd be their king. Time machine, where are you?

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.