If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.

I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.