Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.