As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.

Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.

I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.

The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

I'm so weird with women. I couldn't go up to a gorgeous woman and tell her the building's on fire. 'Don't take this the wrong way, uh. I don't mean to be weird and I'm not trying to be creepy, but the building's on fire.

I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.