Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
As anyone who's ever adopted a dog will tell you, there's always the fear that one day the birth parents will come scratching at the door.
Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.
That which does not kill you isn't finished.
Being funny is not the same as being happy.
One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.