When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

I used to fear living a life untouched by God, but now, for some reason I've gone back to being afraid of cement mixers.

The simple act of smiling at people makes the world a better place. Unless it's the day you decide to walk around with your dong out.

I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.

Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.