That which does not kill you usually circles around and tries again.
That which does not kill you isn't finished.
Being funny is not the same as being happy.
Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.
Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.