Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.

If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.

If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?

Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.

Why do old people drive with their mouths open?

Being funny is not the same as being happy.

If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.