Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.

Always think twice before asking anything of anyone that ends in the words, on your face.

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.

Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.