Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.

My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.

We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right

If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.

Why do old people drive with their mouths open?

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.