A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.

If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.

Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.