A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea.

A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

I've grown tired of resting on my laurels and have decided to start resting on my failures.

My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.

Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.