This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.

As hipster chicks age, and their skin starts to sag, tramp stamps sink below waistbands, like the sun slipping into the sea.

One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.

I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.