I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.

59% of all suicides are actually botched murder-suicides performed by dyslexics.

Death's vigilance is eternal, so shall mine be.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?

I used to fear living a life untouched by God, but now, for some reason I've gone back to being afraid of cement mixers.

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.