I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.

Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?

We broke up, and my first reaction was 'Fine - I've been through this too many times. I can't change your mind. I can't live your life for you. You're gone in your direction. I'm going to pick up; I'm going to go in my direction. I'm not going to live in the past. I'm not going to embrace the pain. You go, I'll go, and that will be it.' And I felt that way for an hour and 10 minutes.

I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.