I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.

There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.

Gorillas would be less scary with bunny ears. Actually, what isn't less scary with bunny ears? Osama Bin Laden with bunny ears. Ha! So cute.

How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.