A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.