I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.

If I'm alone in the car and I fart, I still laugh at it. It's the little things that keep us civilised.

I'm of the generation of kids where the G.I. Joe's developed Kung Fu Grip right around the same time I did.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.

There's a big difference between poll workers and pole workers. Sadly.

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.