When I found out that coffins are padded, I stopped fearing death.
There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas.
Dogs: the best friend you will ever have that pees on your couch and stays your friend.
The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.
Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?