I've often been accused of being the comic's comic. It's a bad business model when your fans are the people who get in free.
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.
I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.