Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.
Dana GouldLove means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana GouldWhenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
Dana GouldIf anything, I believe that when I die, I will have to stand in front of all the children who went to bed hungry while I was on earth and read aloud a list of my eBay purchases. I shudder to think of it. Explaining to a poor child with a swollen belly why I didn't give his village fifty cents a week but spent twenty-seven dollars in a bidding war for a Mars Attacks coffee cup.
Dana Gould