Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!

Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.

A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?