How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?

Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?

This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.

Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.

Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look... great?

Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.

Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.