I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.

Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.

Like many indelible family memories, carving a pumpkin begins with someone grabbing a really sharp knife.

I grew up in a town called Hopedale, Massachusetts. I was born there in 1964, and the only thing I hate outside of myself is everything else.

Being funny is not the same as being happy.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.