You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.

Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.

A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.

In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.