I'll never be alone, because I'll always have My Problems with me!

You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You're watching people who aren't actors, put into situations created by people who aren't writers and they're second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it's not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It's like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.

There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.

A good competition for comedians would be where a comedian has a conversation and is then quizzed on what the other person says.

Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.