When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

It's nice to live in a country that has its priorities straight: the library's open three hours a week, and the House of Fist is 24/7.

Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.

Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?

Chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered pretzels... Chocolate. So afraid to be alone.

Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.